1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of butthurt I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. Why do something tomorrow, when it could be done the day after tomorrow?
14.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Which I am best at.
15. The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up.
16. I will do my work at the same time each day - the last minute.
17. It is my firm belief that imagination is more important than knowledge.
18. When in doubt I will do nothing.
19. There is always tomorrow.
20. There is always the day after tomorrow too.